T
he cuffing season comes with desperation. Perhaps it’s thanks to the cold grip of winter’s lonely hands or the noisy holiday season, which often persuades us to step into the arms of unworthy lovers only for a brief period. It sounds woke and liberating, but it’s not. This winter, rather than jumping under the sheets of a stranger you can’t stand when spring comes, try something else like being single. Yes, it’s easy and effective.
I recently read about a lifestyle coach who found herself newly single last holiday season and learned first-hand the unexpected joys of flying solo during the chilly months. Despite the societal pressure to couple up (or “cuff”), she discovered staying happily uncoupled was not only doable; it was downright enlightening. So dust off the pressure to be (unequally) yoked this season.
This doesn’t mean throwing away opportunities for healthy relationships. Certainly not! Take them when they come. In the meantime, embrace the single life this winter and beyond rather than desperately pairing with individuals you should have left at hello.
Here are some good reasons why being single in winter is a better choice…
#1. Financial freedom
Rather than blowing your discretionary income on finding the “perfect” holiday gifts for a new partner or constantly dining out to kindle romance, put that extra cash towards your passions. For instance, book a solo tropical getaway filled with snorkeling adventures, relaxing spa treatments, and no compromises about the itinerary. Better still, save your money or invest it to grow your income.
#2. Friendship reunions
If you’re caught up in the holiday couple bubble, it’s easy to unintentionally neglect platonic relationships. Designate December and January as “old friends months,” tracking down college roomies, texting former coworkers you admired, and even reaching out to childhood pals on Facebook. Trust me, the conversations will flow naturally, awakening fond memories and reminding you that relationships can pick back up even after years apart.
#3. Self-care
With no need to accommodate someone else’s holiday preferences, create personalized traditions: book a cabin in the woods for private snowshoeing adventures, splurge on bath bombs and essential oil diffusers, and try out new cookie recipes while listening to your favorite artiste’s hit songs. Slowing down to enjoy private rituals will feel indulgent. Let each quiet moment fill you with appreciation for the unique opportunity winter singledom provides.
#4. Family bonding
Navigating singlehood during the holidays can be hard. With the matching PJs, couple vacays, and mushy lovers posts, it becomes tempting to pair with anyone. Instead, delight in extended visits with your own family. Watch decades-old home movies while sipping hot chocolate and reminiscing about childhood. You can also start new traditions. Be ready for the laughter that will come easily, unconstrained by outsiders. This closeness will become the greatest gift of all.
#5. Opportunity for adventure
While watching sweet couples on Instagram, think about snowshoeing across a frozen lake under the Northern Lights, sipping mulled wine amidst ancient castles along the Danube River, or curling up at the fireside with a book in a Scottish Highlands village. When the world feels couples-obsessed, it’s empowering to daydream about where a solo spirit might roam. While you wait for your prince or princess, focus on having wholesome intentional times with yourself. Being single in winter isn’t the easiest feat, but it can be a fulfilling time of self-discovery.
#6. Self-reflection
Spending the holidays single can usher in nostalgia and fresh perspectives about the past year’s journey. It’s not the easiest on the flesh as it can seem lonely, but it can be helpful in the long run. Now’s a good time to curl up with your journal and cup of latte and start recording the milestones and revelations that defined your year. Celebrating achievements will certainly elevate your confidence to live even more boldly. Also recall missteps and challenges, and highlight areas for growth. By February, you’ll feel a whole reacquaintance with your new self.
#7. Openness to surprise
While social media is brimming with fairy tale engagement stories, focus on your wide-open storybook full of blank pages waiting to be written. For your New Year’s resolutions, brainstorm adventurous things that seem intimidating, with or without a partner’s support. And stay open to whatever unexpected delights each new day might bring. Who knows where all these could lead? This winter will definitely make you realize that true magic can happen when you embrace the unexpected joy of your own company. It’s a worthy preparation for a suitable “The One.”
Bonus
This winter, step out of yourself and show some kindness. Find others in need of food, clothing, shelter, or a good talk, and be the answer they’re praying for. The fulfillment that comes with putting a smile on the faces of others is undisputed. While we wallow in self-pity and feel sad about heading into the new year single, some don’t know where the next meal will come from. For a second, spread the love you wish to see to others and watch the earth bring forth good things (a befitting partner) your way. You will realize that being single in winter can be a blessing in disguise.
Featured image: Daniel de la Hoz/iStock
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