W
hile Chris Brown revels in some new flame reverie, there are quantifiable numbers of humans who would rather indulge in the familiarity of old flames. The present dating world doesn’t make the talking stage any fun, this influences people to find pleasure in familiar grounds.
What is breakup sex?
Breakup sex refers to sexual activity that occurs after a romantic relationship has ended. It can be an emotionally charged and complex experience, and the way it affects individuals can vary greatly.
Having sexual relations with an ex plays out differently for everyone. It could be a smooth ordeal for one, but the worst decision ever made for another. Hence the need to count your costs effectively before replying to that tempting “hey stranger” text.
The psychology behind breakup sex
It’s hard to tell everyone’s reason behind having breakup sex, but the common reasons usually include hope to get back together, great sex, not wanting to increase your body count, and unresolved feelings for the person.
We break up for vast reasons, but most times, it could be hard getting over your ex. You plan to maintain a relationship with them by all means necessary, including sizzling sheets experiences. In this piece, we’re spotlighting 5 ladies who were open enough to share how breakup sex affected them.
Let’s see what these ladies have to say about how breakup sex might affect you…
#1. It can provide closure
Hadiza says breakup sex is the best way to accept the relationship has come to an end. “For some people, including me, breakup sex can help bring closure to a relationship and allow them to move on. It can help them feel like they have ‘tied up loose ends’ or said goodbye to the relationship in a physical way,” she says.
#2. It can be confusing
Malika thinks otherwise. For her, breakup sex is confusing. “It can be confusing and emotionally exhausting. I wonder whether I still have feelings for my ex-partner or whether I am simply trying to fulfill a physical desire.”
#3. It can be a way to cope with the breakup
Noelle, a professional chef, explains that it helped her cope with the pain she felt from being away from her ex, whom she still loves. “Some people may turn to breakup sex to cope with the pain and emotional fallout of a breakup. It can provide a temporary distraction or a way to feel close to their ex-partner, even if only for a short time. And it did for me.”
#4. It can lead to regrets
Tracy feels nobody should indulge in breakup sex. “Depending on the circumstances and motivations of the individuals involved, breakup sex can sometimes lead to regrets and false hope. I felt like I acted impulsively or made a mistake by engaging in sexual activity after the relationship had ended. It was a total waste of my time.”
#5. It can be a positive experience
Meanwhile, Kirsten thinks breakup sex can be a positive and enjoyable experience. It can allow both parties to let go of the past and move on to the next chapter in their lives, or make them get back together. “In the beginning, it was confusing and draining, but it seemed we connected more than ever before. We got back together and he’s now my husband. It worked for me.”
Healthier ways to move on after a painful breakup
Ultimately, how breakup sex affects someone depends on their circumstances, feelings, and motivations. It can be a complex and emotional experience. Therefore, it’s important to be honest with yourself and consider whether it is something you truly want to do. Breakup sex is a gamble, and while it works for some, others swear it did more harm than good.
We understand that breakups can be difficult, and it’s natural to feel a range of emotions after a relationship ends. The healthier option would be to take the time to process your emotions and allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. It can also be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or therapists during this time.
Here are some steps that may help you move on from a breakup…
#1. Allow yourself to feel your emotions
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or hurt after a breakup. It’s also important to allow yourself to feel and process these emotions, rather than trying to suppress them.
#2. Take care of yourself
Make sure to take care of your physical and emotional well-being. This might include getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and engaging in activities that help you relax and feel good about yourself. This could be a hard task, but your future self will be grateful. The key is to take it a day at a time. No pressure.
#3. Surround yourself with support
Rather than jumping on the juicy breakup sex offer, lean on your friends and family for support and understanding. Consider seeking the help of a therapist if you feel overwhelmed or have a hard time coping with the breakup.
#4. Focus on the present and the future
It’s natural to look back at the past and think about what you could have done differently, but try to focus on the present and the future. Consider what you learned from the relationship and what you want for yourself moving forward.
#5. Take up new interests
It can be helpful to take some time to focus on yourself and do things that you enjoy. This might include hobbies, activities, or projects that bring you joy and help you feel fulfilled and stay busy. An idle mind, they say, is the devil’s workshop.
A final thought
It takes time to heal after a breakup, and it’s important to allow yourself the time and space you need to process your emotions and move on. Don’t try to force yourself to move on before you’re ready.
Before you decide to indulge in breakup sex, think about the effects it might have on you. If you’re emotionally strong to move on and face reality, determine whether breakup sex would help or mar the situation. Also remember that everyone’s favorite experience is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for moving on from a breakup. It’s important to do what feels right for you and to take things at your own pace.
Featured image: Prostock-Studio/iStock
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