H
ave you ever been in a relationship with someone who has the uncanny ability to distort your reality and make you question your sanity? Or do you feel like a pawn in someone else’s chess game, manipulated into doing things you wouldn’t choose otherwise? These are not scenes from a psychological thriller; they are real-life situations that many people find themselves in. One instance is gaslighting and the other is manipulation. But which is which? While these terms may be somewhat similar, there are some slight differences and we’ll highlight them in this article.
Gaslighting vs manipulation
Gaslighting and manipulation may seem like two sides of the same coin, but they operate differently and have distinct characteristics. Gaslighting is a psychological tactic where someone seeks to make you doubt your perceptions, memories, or reality. They may use tactics like denial, misdirection, or trivialization to make you question your judgment. Gaslighters are smart enough to make you undermine your confidence and self-esteem, leaving you feeling needy and disoriented.
Manipulation, on the other hand, is broader. It involves influencing or controlling someone’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors for personal gain. Manipulators use various tactics, including guilt-tripping, emotional exploitation, or withholding information, to get what they want. While gaslighting can be a form of manipulation, not all manipulation involves gaslighting. Manipulators have a clear objective – to make you do what they desire, often without your consent or knowledge.
Check out 20 common phrases gaslighters use…
This article isn’t a gaslighting vs manipulation challenge where you choose one over the other. Its purpose is to enlighten you to help you recognize the signs of both to enable you to protect yourself and your mental health. Given that, here are 20 common phrases that gaslighters use:
1. “You’re overreacting.”
2. “You’re being too sensitive.”
3. “I never said that.”
4. “You must have misunderstood.”
5. “You’re imagining things.”
6. “I don’t remember it that way.”
7. “You’re crazy.”
8. “You’re too emotional.”
9. “It’s all in your head.”
10. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
11. “I’m just joking; can’t you take a joke?”
12. “You’re the one with the problem.”
13. “You’re too paranoid.”
14. “I would never do that.”
15. “You’re always wrong.”
16. “You’re just trying to start a fight.”
17. “Why are you so negative?”
18. “You’re being irrational.”
19. “You’re not thinking clearly.”
20. “I’m the one who cares about you.”
Check out 15 signs you’re being manipulated…
Manipulation can be more subtle, but equally damaging. The worst part is the inability to know when you’re being manipulated. Below are sure signs that you may be in a manipulative relationship or situation:
1. You often feel guilty for no apparent reason.
2. You find it challenging to say “no” to the person.
3. Your needs and opinions are consistently dismissed.
4. You’re constantly making excuses for their behavior.
5. You feel like you’re being controlled or coerced.
6. You’re frequently on an emotional rollercoaster.
7. You doubt your judgment and decision-making.
8. Your self-esteem has taken a hit.
9. You’ve isolated yourself from friends and family.
10. You’re always apologizing, even when it’s not your fault.
11. You’re afraid to express your feelings.
12. You’re financially dependent on the manipulator.
13. You feel obligated to meet their demands.
14. You’re constantly walking on eggshells.
15. You’ve lost your sense of self.
Here’s how to get rid of both
1. The first step is acknowledging that you’re dealing with gaslighting or manipulation. Trust your instincts and feelings.
2. Establish clear boundaries and communicate your limits with the person responsible for the behavior.
3. Reach out to friends, family, or therapists who can provide emotional support and guidance.
4. Prioritize yourself and boost your emotional well-being. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself.
5. Keep a record of instances of gaslighting or manipulation. This will help validate your experiences and let you know the exact situation.
6. Therapy or counseling can be immensely beneficial in helping you heal and develop coping strategies.
7. Make an exit plan if the situation doesn’t improve. Distance yourself from the person responsible for the behavior, especially if it’s a toxic relationship.
Featured image: Visual Generation/iStock
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