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Dr Iyabo Speaks: Are Your Fears Holding You Hostage?

Dr Iyabo Speaks: Are Your Fears Holding You Hostage?

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We all have fears. I have mine. I certainly do. I have a fear of fast-moving cars. I do not like to sit in cars that are too fast. I do not like to drive fast. I have a fear of driving on huge highways, and I happen to live in a city that has many of those. Atlanta houses highways with up to eight lanes! Lucky me! (with a tone of sarcasm). Overcoming fear story.

I also have a fear of heights—I really do. You’ll find me sitting on a plane, but you will not see me jump off a plane anytime soon. Actually, I’m not a “never person,” but I think I can confidently say you will never see me jumping from any height from a plane—or a cliff into the water. I won’t even hike up mountains. It’s not my thing. I do not like heights, period. Nor do I like caves or depths—I will not be deep-sea diving anytime soon! Count me out of those.

I derive my pleasure and adrenaline rush from other sources. A one-hour workout class will give me the same effect. I’ll take that instead. In summer 2015, I planned an exciting trip with my daughters and my daughters’ friend and her mom. A four-country European tour. We spent a few days in Athens, Greece, then took a big ferry from there to Santorini. Fun all the way, until the announcement was made that we were approaching the dock in Santorini. I looked out the window from the ferry, and I immediately panicked. What on earth am I looking at? Is there an alternative way to get out of here? Overcoming fear story.

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Dr Iyabo and her daughters

In the very near distance, I saw high hills with what seemed like hairline roads winding around them, sometimes at sharp angles, and the cars and trucks driving on them seemed like toy vehicles. The roads were on cliffs that had no barriers from the edge. The vehicles could tip over the cliffs at any time! What did Iyabo get herself into? I failed to fully research the terrain of this area before booking the trip. I was too mesmerized by the beauty of Santorini as depicted in online images. My daughters, their friend, and friend’s mom laughed at me and tried to calm my fears at the same time. I was excited to be here, my heart was beating really fast…but there was no turning back. We were here. I had to face my fears!

I closed my eyes during most of the drive from the ferry dock to our hotel. That 40 minutes or so seemed like 40 hours. I heard the rest of my party commenting on how beautiful everything looked, but I could only peek for split seconds here and there. When we arrived at our hotel, I was in awe. Santorini is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. The ocean view, the white buildings stacked on cliffs everywhere. Beautiful flowers and sparse greenery were interspersed between all this beauty. Our hotel also sat on a cliff, but I had to muster up the courage and face my fear. I had no choice. Overcoming fear story.

Santorini in view

I did enjoy the trip overall, but even with the exquisite beauty, I don’t think I’ll return there in a hurry. My fear of heights still exists. It’s not leaving anytime soon. Those are my fears. However, they are not life-limiting fears. Even if they try to be, I will not allow them to be. Other than those two I have explained to you, I have no other fears (OK, OK, there is another little one—crowded elevators). But aside from those two and a half fears, I stare at any other fears that try to limit my life straight in the face. I will not allow any fears to hinder me from my life purpose.

No fears have hindered my goal-setting or goal achievements. I do not have to return to Santorini or any similar terrains where cars drive on hairpin roads on cliffs. There are so many other destinations to visit and savor. I will choose those other places for now. I can patiently wait for the next elevator and avoid the crowded ones. It’s a good habit anyway, with the pandemic we are in. I have gotten used to driving on back roads in Atlanta. Uber has also spoilt me. I was riding Uber a lot pre-COVID times. Such a convenience; sit in a comfy car and get driven around, and get some work done on my iPad on longer road trips. I wrote a lot of blog posts and content for my books on many Uber rides. Other times, I get driven by my husband or daughters. I also happen to work a lot from home, so I don’t drive daily to my practice.

I will not allow my fears to define me, hold me hostage, keep me in bondage, and annul my destiny. Fear is an emotional block. Emotional blocks are the main reason people are prevented from achieving their goals and living out their life purpose. I have too much to do on this earth. I have to bring my God-given gifts into existence and fulfill my life purpose. No fear will hold me back.

What are your fears?

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How many do you have? One enormous one? Three small ones? Have you allowed them to build a fortress around you? To keep you in constant “stuck” mode? Is your life purpose on hold because of these fears? Are you biting your fingernails, experiencing palpitations, or jittery legs because of your fears? Do you have nightmares because of your fears? Wake up soaked in sweat because your daytime fears reflect in your subconscious asleep state? Overcoming fear story.

That fear of starting the business you’ve always dreamed of? Of changing careers and finally embracing and developing your creative talent? The fear of going back to school to finish your education? Of leaving the emotionally or physically abusive marriage you’ve endured for way too long? The fear of asking your boss for a reduced schedule so you can make time to birth your new creative project? The fear of failure, of rejection, of heights or flying?

Or of not keeping up with the Joneses anymore, not having the lavish lifestyle anymore, if you change your life in any way and decide to start afresh. Restart from scratch?

The dreaded fear of public speaking? Or just that simple fear many of us carry around—the fear of judgment from other people? That simple fear is extremely weighty on us. Why do we care so much about what others think of us? Why is it so important to some of us to belong to, and identify with a group or pack? These types of fears, if you allow them to build a fortress around you, will cripple you for the rest of your life. You will stay stuck and wake up one day in your 70s, 80s, and 90s and have regrets, as you realize life just left you behind…as you realize you had your gifts squeezed tightly in your hands because you were too fearful to open up and use them to fulfill your life-given purposes.

Too many of us allow these types of fears to define us. For way too long. My fears have solutions, but I had to search those out. They are not life-defining, at least not for me—because I won’t allow it. I am quite sure they cripple some people though. But they don’t have to. There are solutions for every fear. One way to propel yourself to stare fears in the face, and find solutions to combat them, is to constantly remember you have unique God given-gifts that you must utilize to make your dreams come true.

Each of us is given unique gifts from God, and these gifts are activated as soon as we take our very first breath at birth. After that, many influences affect how these gifts are launched into the world–your family values, friends, and work colleagues you meet along the way, mindset changes as you journey through life, and so on.

Overcoming fear story

If you stay on the path that pleases God, you are much better able: To live out your life purpose in full magnificence. To influence others to the fullest. To make the world a better place than when you entered it. To create a legacy that will continue for years and years. Fear is the opposite of faith. Drop fear. Pick up faith. Live life to the fullest. The solution for fear is faith. We must change our mindsets. We must replace our fears with faith. Then we must step out and do the works necessary to fulfill our calling.

May we all become permanently happy…minus our fears! Overcoming fear story.

Catch me daily on my Instagram as I continue to inspire women to live a life of purpose, fulfillment, and free of fears!


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