H
ave you ever noticed that once you buy a flashy red sports car, you suddenly see that same car all over town? You wonder if there’s been a surge in popularity, if car companies have ramped up production, or if red cars are migrating to your neighborhood. But in reality, nothing has changed except your focus. There hasn’t been a remarkable uptick in red sports cars — your mind is just hyper-attuned to them now.
In the same vein, we miss opportunities every day because we aren’t aware of things. If we are conscious of a particular goal or standard, it’s easy to sift it out in a crowd full of disparities. This phenomenon is called the red car theory or red car effect. And while it may reveal little more than the quirks of human perception, psychology, and focus, it can actually be harnessed in other areas of life, like dating and relationships.
By applying the red car theory to your love life and shifting your focus, you might just change what you attract and discover amazing new relationship possibilities that have been there under your nose the whole time. Intriguing, right? Let’s explore this fascinating concept further.
What is the Red Car Theory?
The red car theory refers to the idea that once something is on your mind or you’ve noticed it recently, you will start seeing it everywhere. It’s a psychological concept that shows how our brains filter information based on what we are focused on or primed to see. For instance, if you just bought a red Honda Civic, you will start spotting red Civics on the roads more often even though the actual number of red Civics hasn’t changed. The only change is your focus.
How to use this in dating
When you’re dating, you can put the red car theory to work. For example, if you just went on an amazing date with someone who loves hiking and the outdoors, you might start noticing more profiles of outdoor enthusiasts in your swipes.
Or if you have a “type” that you tend to go for, you’ll be more likely to zero in on people with those qualities – maybe blondes, creatives, or Ivy League grads. It’s not that there are necessarily more of them; it’s that you now have dating on your mind and are subconsciously looking for people who fit your interest or priority.
An interesting experiment to try out
As an experiment, try actively looking for a totally different type of person in your dating app or life over the next week. For example, consider someone with a creative career if you usually go for bankers, or a world traveler if you tend to prefer homebodies. See if you start noticing profiles that reflect your new focus, even if they haven’t necessarily increased in the population. This can demonstrate the red car theory in action!
An “Aha” realization
At the end of the day, the red car theory and dating teach us that we see what we want to see or expect to see. If we focus on a particular type of person or trait, our brain will hone in on it more by filtering out other information. Keeping this in mind, consider occasionally shifting your focus to dating — trying new types of people or personalities. You might just discover an unexpected great match you would have otherwise overlooked. This can lead to an “aha” moment, showing you what you really prioritize and want in a relationship.
Featured image: @mckenzieinthemirror/Instagram
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