While some may argue that it takes the fun and spontaneity away from the first date, we think it’s a pretty good idea coming prepared. Don’t be unprepared then end up nervous and asking the predictable questions like “What’s your favourite food?” When a pretty girl/guy is smiling and sitting across you, words might get juggled up in your head. Then on getting home, deeper questions you would have loved to ask would come flooding through your mind-line.
Let’s be honest, first dates are interviews, we just find creative ways to make it not look that way. A lot of things cross your mind prior to the date; is she/he finally going to be “the one,” do they look anything like their pictures? What are they really like? Dear Lord, I hope I’m not wasting my time?
First dates are most times synonymous with awkwardness because everyone is so conscious of themselves and would only try to bring their best foot forward. Having questions ready for your first date could help you dig deeper into that facade, and if you’re actively listening you will get enough answers to help you decide whether or not a second date is in order. It could also be a good way of keeping the conversation going and getting your date more comfortable to open up.
Don’t be shy, breathe!!! Here are 7 questions that will come in handy on that first date…
#1 first date question: Is there anything you don’t eat?
It is highly considerate to ask this question especially if your date involves ordering food. Before you go all out ordering for yourself or your date, ask them if there are things they don’t eat and why.
They might have allergies or a bad experience.
Asides being considerate, this is a good conversation starter and lubricant. This should ease off a little tension and set the tone for the rest of the date, hopefully.
#2 first date question: What takes up your time when you’re not working?
Sometimes the “tell me about yourself” question sounds so cliche and boring. It’s still obvious that all you really want to know is what they enjoy doing. This will be appreciated because it doesn’t look like an interview. In the process, you might find out things you have in common and Voila! another date could be brewing.
#3 first date question: If you got free tickets to travel to your favourite place, who would you call? Family members or friends?
This is another way of asking about his relationships, especially with family.
Your date might be someone who wants his partner to get along well with their family. Your date might also be someone who considers his friends more of a family than his biological family.
This is also an opportunity to pay attention to how your date treats people that are close to him or her.
Note: This information is not to be used to go overboard with judgement but should help you know the person better and (if there’s a future together) how you can fit into their life. Also, know that people are from different backgrounds and have different experiences. Be open-minded.
#4 first date question: What does a normal day look like for you?
This should let you in on your date’s vocation (if any). The type of job they’re into and if they like what they do. There are a lot of follow up questions you could ask when he/she starts off answering but let it flow and don’t make it look like an interrogation.
This would also help you know if your date is a morning/night person and give you a sneak peek into their regular schedule.
#5 first date question: What do you want in a relationship?
Duh!!! You’re obviously single and ready to mingle, that’s why we’re here in the first place right? This should help you cut off unnecessary expectations and know for real what your date is really looking for.
Ask him/her what brought them to the dating scene again and what they seek to achieve. Please do this as casually as possible and not like a detective interrogating a suspect.
Note: If your date gets uncomfortable with this question and refuses to be open, it might be a red flag.
Maybe they’re just sowing those wild oats and are not looking for anything serious or maybe they want a committed relationship and you don’t. If what they want doesn’t tally with yours, you need to take note. This doesn’t mean cancel them out immediately – many love stories have been told where love was found in unusual places.
They should be honest enough to state what stage in life they are:
- If they want something serious
- If they want something casual
- If it’s a rebound
That shows they’re mature enough to stand by what they want and respect humans enough not to deceive or manipulate them just to get what they want.
#6 First date question: When you’re old and looking back at your life, what do you want to be remembered for?
A lot of people have jobs or study courses that they really don’t like. Most do it for financial security. What this question does is to let you in on their true passion and even their life goals. It won’t hurt to know their direction on time and see if you both are headed the same way in life.
You can’t hop on a bus going east when you really want to go south just because they’re cute and sound intelligent. This question could help you know where their priorities lie except of course they’re just being dreamy.
#7 First date question: What do you think about mentorship? Do you have a mentor?
Remember those goals and aspirations? This question could let you in on the steps they’re taking to get better in life. Their take on mentorship would enlighten you on their stand with accountability. Some people are too proud and can’t stay accountable and this might pose a problem in future. A mentor helps you speed up your journey in life by helping you avoid the mistakes they made in their field. It is safe to say that anyone who goes through the process of seeking a mentor is serious about getting to their desired goals in life. It is not in any way a sign of weakness.
You don’t have to wait till you’re on the fifth date to realize that they are just in it for the fun of it when you have already planned a whole wedding and honeymoon in your head. We, humans, are good at making things complicated, keep your dating life simple by asking the right questions on your first date.
Cover Illustration: Instagram | izarusalskaya
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