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Mental Mondays: When You’re Not Sad But Not Happy Either

Mental Mondays: When You’re Not Sad But Not Happy Either



re you happy? This seems like a very simple question that anyone should answer with an ecstatic, YES! But this seemingly easy question can provoke a series of thoughts that only goes to awaken you to your current state. At first, you think to yourself “I am happy…or maybe not…but I’m not sad either”. It’s almost like scales fall off your eyes and then you’re being snapped out of limbo.  You’re not sad, but you’re not happy either.

While this state of apathy might be a sign of an underlying or suppressed mental issue, it isn’t always so. As humans in a noisy world like ours–with numerous voices all clamoring to make a point–sometimes, we may get trapped in an in-between state of happiness and sadness. This is no strange feeling, but it is also important to do something about it.

Maybe we’ve fallen into a routine and just go by the day morosely or we had a traumatic life experience and failed to process it properly or at all. Whatever the case may be, there are times when you are not sad and not happy either. While it might be a cause for concern, some other times, life just happens and you will eventually snap out of it if you’re deliberate and conscious.

Reasons why this might occur

• Emotional trauma
• Dissatisfaction with life
• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of confrontation
• Mental issues

“I’m not sad but I’m not happy either. I can smile and joke around during the day but sometimes when I’m alone at night, I don’t know what exactly I feel” ~Unknown

Here are a few things to try out when you’re not sad but not happy either…

#1. Determine the root cause

Photo: Anete Lusina / Pexels

The first step towards problem-solving is a realization of the problem itself and the cause of this problem. This would require a lot of quiet time and a conscious journey into memory lane. Understanding the cause would help you know how best to get back on track and become happy again. If it’s caused by a boring routine, an unsatisfying job or relationship, and more seriously an underlying Illness, the approach would be different but in all, stay active and dedicated to change.

#2. Break the cycle

Photo: Julia Larson / Pexels

Leading a monotonous cycle in your daily life can not only be boring but could also prove challenging for your mental health. Rather than drown in a world of black and white, do something out of the ordinary and incorporate some excitement into your daily life. For example, you can apply for that dream job, book a trip, grab some drinks with friends….whatever! Just make sure you’re intentional about it.

#3. Be picky about your circle

Photo: cottonbro / Pexels

Haven’t you heard that happiness is fabricated? That is to say that it is whatever you make it. When you’re not sad but not happy either, it’s time to run a check on the people you surround yourself with. It’s nothing new that misery loves company and that’s why ensuring you have positive people around you requires a deliberate attempt. These set of people help charge you towards the best version of yourself because they have your best interest at heart.

#4. Do things you used to love

Photo: George Milton / Pexels

When you’re not happy and you’re not sad either, there’s a tendency to just go by the days soaked up in indifference. One way to snap out of this state is to make a list of things you used to love and then start to do them again. They say old flames never die and it’s almost sure the nostalgic relief you’ll feel once you embark on these activities.

#5. Consider therapy

Photo: Alex Green / Pexels

There are times when opening up to someone makes all the difference. From one on one to art and/or music therapy, it sure helps pull a person out of their shell. If the cause of this state of indifference is related to a mental health issue, your therapist might consider adding medications to your treatment. Also, joining a support group may also prove beneficial.

When you’re not sad but not happy either, that’s not the end of your fulfilling dream life. It’s an occurrence that’s more natural than we think. What’s not normal is accepting to remain in this state and missing out on all the bright things life has to offer. Get up and charge up! Your inner self would be grateful.

Featured image: Luana Bento | Pexels

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