I
n this age of individualism and anti-misogyny, the tendency to meet a stranger today and run to the courthouse tomorrow without getting to ask for their parents’ blessing is on the increase. This Solomon Grundy pattern seems like the liberated thing to do as no one likes to be shackled by traditionalism. As much as that’s an angle worth exploring, it’s also important to slow down and remind yourself why parental blessings are still expedient in this age and most likely, in the one to come.
It has been antiquated but if your partner’s parents are “culture-centric” and spiritual, then this is a step in the right direction. It’s also good to note that it’s an important milestone for your relationship although it’s effects are not absolute.
In what situations should you sit this out?
However, it is safe to note that asking your partner’s parents for their blessing isn’t always a good idea especially in cases like these:
- When your partner is estranged from their parents
- If your partner sees it as a sexist move and would rather pass
Here are a few reasons you should reconsider and ask your partner’s parents for their blessing…
1. Honor
No matter how much the world changes and how liberated we get, honor will forever remain trendy. Asking your partner’s parents for their blessing will only show that you honor and hold them in high esteem.
2. A good in-law relationship
Most especially if your partner is close to their parents, this can be a defining moment where you start the lifelong journey of bonding with your future in-laws. If this goes well, it will create a more relaxed energy and a healthy family relationship. This would also make your partner more endeared to you.
3. Conflict resolution
Depending on your partner’s relationship with their parents and the foundational values of the family, when you come to the person(s) who raised your partner for their blessings, they feel more involved rather than when you choose to sideline them. In Africa, for example, during times of conflict where the couple can’t seem to tackle their issues head on, they reach out to their parents, who in turn are ever so eager to help. This might not be possible when you bypass that initial step of asking for their blessing.
Note: Involving a third party in your family issues has to be agreed on by the couple and shouldn’t be the initial step towards conflict resolution.
What if they refuse?
This is rarely the case but it’s possible. In this situation;
- Set aside your emotions for a minute and try to understand the “why” behind their stand.
- You need to decide with your partner if you’re both willing to wait, especially if you both see reasons with the parents. Sometimes their reason is worth considering, for example, if you need to find a job for sustainability.
A marriage is as strong as its foundation. All things being equal, ask your partner’s parents for their blessing. Even though it doesn’t always guarantee marriage success, it’s indeed a sweet start towards peace. Congratulations!
Featured image: Tammy Mosley | Pexels
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